The One About The One.

Over the past few weeks I have been a bit frustrated.  I have met someone that seems to get better over time.  Which is a good thing right?  I think so.  Its kindof a scary thing, dating as a divorced mother of 3.  I am not the type to close myself off to people even after being hurt.  Sometimes my affection levels just bubble over.  Regardless I am finding myself becoming attached to this man.  Everyone has advice when it comes to dating and how fast/slow to go.  Ultimately only I know what is right for me.  But what if I am at a loss?  

Those that are close to me know that I am open about my love and affections.  People that I love I tell them.  If I miss you I tell you.  You get the picture.  My kids hear it 100+ times a day.  They get what we call loves, hugs and kisses, even more.  I don't want them to ever wonder.  

So when it comes to me and my heart I get frustrated.  Everyone loves in their own way and in their own time.  I am good being patient as long as I know where someone is at and where they think things could end up.  I don't like guessing games.  

So now I find myself dating a man that has everything I have on my list.  That sounds terrible that I have a list.  Regardless he has it all.  And the more I interact with him and the more I get to know his children and see him in different environments I just like him more.  Stupid boy!  Lol.  

Learning how people express their love is always a learning curve too.  I read a book called "The Five Love Languages" years ago and it helped me understand how I express mine and helped me recognize how others do.  It was a great read and think everyone should read it.

I'm loving the time I get to spend with him.  I like having my own time and space too.  If it is right it will happen when it needs to.  I just hate limbo.  

Head First.

The Beginning of a New Adventure. 

Ha ha.  It seems like my life is full of beginnings right now which can be such an excited existence but it is also full of a crippling fear of failure.  But the only person I can fail is myself. 

Why am I starting this blog?

The reasons grow and shrink daily but there are a steady handful of reasons that vary from it being a means of me processing change to possibly helping others through hard times similar to mine.  We all need to know we aren't alone in our struggle.  We also need to be able to laugh at ourselves, at each other and at life.  Believe me I laugh at myself hourly these days so don't feel bad for laughing at me too.

I have this quote that I find myself thinking of almost on a daily basis.  It makes me find peace in my decisions of finding a new path.  It goes like this....

I have spent enough energy allowing fear to control my life, the person that I am to become and the mother that I am to my children.  No longer!!!  I am the only person that can affect the true changes inside of me and my life that I want for me and my kids. 

What Defines Me...

My children, my children and oh my children.  But I have also realized that I need to be my own person.  So to define myself in a way that you may understand here we go. 

I am an artist at heart.  I love mostly all forms of self expression.  Those that I love I love fiercely.  My circle may be small but it is a strong circle.  I also am very willing to try new things because you don't know you don't like it unless if you try it.

Life is for living and sharing.  No matter where we have walked in the past our future path is undefined until we make the choice of one way or another.  Even then we can reevaluate and change courses.

What I will share.

Life as a single, LDS, nursing student, working mother of 3 gives me an interesting life.  As a family we like to get out and about in our local community.  We also love to travel outside of our familiar space.  We have a large variety of people in our lives which all adds up to some varied experiences and challenges. Trying to teach 3 kids about acceptance, love, patience and of hard work is a never ending job.  I want to share our growth as a family and as individuals with those that are interested.  I want to be able to find others that share like experiences.  I also want to be able to look back over these with fondness and gratitude for where I am and where I have come from.